


Sad Truth

by uswntfics



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 18:03:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2437985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uswntfics/pseuds/uswntfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I know that I don't own you,<br/>and perhaps I never will,<br/>so anger when you're with him,<br/>I have no right to feel</p><p>I know that you don't owe me,<br/>and I should ask for more;<br/>I shouldn't feel so let down,<br/>all the times when you don't call</p><p>What I feel --- I should show you,<br/>so when you're around I won't;<br/>I knwo I've no right to feel it<br/>but it doesn't mean I don't”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sept. 13 USA vs Mexico

 

Tobin gave a sarcastic laugh at the ref who blew the whistle for a foul, that could've been a goal assisted by Alex. Her best friend crossed the ball over to her and Tobin was beyond ready to strike it towards the net, unfortunately the whistle was blown late just seconds away from Tobin's supposed to be goal. Alex looked at Tobin who had the same expression as her, frustration, she looked up and groaned before jogging back down their line for it was going to be a free kick for Mexico. Although the referee still pissed her off, she still continued to play at her best just like everyone on their team. The whistle blew. The game was finished. 8-0, Abby's 168th goal and Hope had just broken the shutout record #72. Tobin didn't start but she was glad she was part of the 18. She went over to give the Mexico players a 'good game' seeing familiar faces since some of them had been in the NWSL. The Mexico players were really young, Tobin noticed. Most of them were around 19-20 she guessed. Probably. "Oh yeah, 8-0 baby!" Pinoe rejoiced from the bench walking over to her team. She started but was subbed off afterwards, she did her thing and everyone knew that. She's great. The team congratulated everyone, mostly hope for her broken record. She kept on stealing glances towards Alex, this action was all so familiar to her, trying to stop herself scared she might be caught. But it was impossible not to stare at Alex Morgan. Jill huddled them up, "girls! that was even better than the 4-0 we wanted! I'm all so proud of you," she looked at each player, "we still have another game against them, more practice, make your country proud. And to Hope congratulations for breaking the record!" As soon as she mentioned Hope everyone cheered and Megan unsurprisingly howled, "72!!!" We laughed as Hope thanked us telling us it wouldn't be possible without everyone, especially the defenders. The rookies, Crystal, Moe, and Julie were congratulated by everyone too, we wanted them to be welcomed because we were once newbies too and sometimes we felt out of place, especially the veterans they took good care of their younger players. "Hey" Alex ran up behind Tobin as they entered the locker room, she walked towards her locker as the same time the midfielder did, it wasn't far. They were near each other, the ones separating theirs were Stephanie, Julie and Megan's locker. "Hey yourself," the tanner girl replied back unable to hide my smile, "good game! 2 goals, 3 assists" She added and gave a wink. She gave a lighthearted laugh which gave Tobin's stomach butterflies, "oh please, YOU were amazing, you could've goaled but the ref and her annoying whistle," she demonstrated pretending to blow a whistle "didn't want a 9-0 because we'd seem like such bullies to 19 year olds" that got a laugh out of her She always knew what to say, the right time, the right thing. They continued on changing and went over to the bus, some were still inside so they both waited. While waiting they decided to play monopoly, "I am so kicking your butt right now Heath" Alex smirked, but she was right, she was winning. "I'm letting you win because you've had a great day already, with 2 goals and 3 assists, I don't want you to loose this and be down. You know me, always the friendly one" she pushed Tobin playfully "Shut up Heath! Admit it, you actually ARE loosing!" Alex giggled knowing she had the power over this game "Nah, I'm not making myself win this because Kelley's not here therefore we can't make fun of you" "You are such a butthole Tobs" They laughed and continued to play, as predicted she won and it was time to head back to their hotel. It was hard loving Alex, not just in silence but she bet in any situation, she's gorgeous, she's smart and amazing at soccer, but what? What's making things worse for her? What's killing the chill Heath? She's engaged. engaged. Sometimes Tobin forgets she's not single, that she's engaged and happy with her fiancé. That she looks perfect with Servando, that they'd do great as husband and wife. And that she's getting married on winter. Alex put an arm around her as they headed to their room, "god i'm so tired" she mumbled on Tobin's shoulder "well you did play the whole game" Tobin stated opening the door to their room She felt vulnerable, sad, hurt, depressed and everything that was negative except for anger. She wasn't and couldn't be angry at Alex for not loving her like she does. What would happened after some months go by? When she gets married? "Right, cause I forgot" Alex rolled her eyes playfully and laid on the bed checking her phone. Tobin took of her shoes and leaned on the wall just looking at Alex smile at something on her phone, Alex pressed it against her ear and Tobin knew exactly who it was. "Serv! I miss you so much babe," "You did? I'm glad you watched our game, you're always so supportive" the happiness in her voice killed Tobin, she was happy with him. It's just as simple as that. So why doesn't she want to stop loving her? Tobin got out to the balcony to give her some privacy, okay more like to not hear her loved one talk love to the one whom her loved one love's. So much love in the world. She patted the rail slowly, but really she was frustrated with herself. Tobin knew what she was getting herself into the first time she laid her eyes on the striker, but she didn't know she was going to get in too deep to the point that she doesn't want to stop and she'd let her hurting be and keep on making her happy because that's all she ever wants. For Alex to be happy, because to Tobin, Alex deserves all the happiness in the world. She remembered the time Alex called her out for help, Tobin was always there for her friends and was willing to help anyone, for a good cause of course. She was a child of God she wouldn't want to unfollow His will. So when she arrived at Alex's apartment she was surprised to see so many papers around. She saw Alex on the couch looking tired, 3 phones on her hand. "Tobin!" Alex exclaimed and jumped on her, Tobin caught her just in time. Alex was relieved her best friend was there, she felt like she was going to jump off a cliff any moment. "Hey baby horse, what's up?" Alex was so tired and frustrated that she didn't even think before speaking, "I'm going crazy calling designers and what food I should order, I know it's pretty early but Serv's mom wants it set up and I don't want her to think I'm a screw up soon to be daughter-in-law, oh and the dress! Don't get me started I'm about to go ballistic" Alex sighed again and hugged Tobin tight lightly swaying but Tobin was confused, what was she talking about? Alex led her to the couch and they both sat, "so what can I help you with?" She was really confused, who's birthday was it? "Flowers!" Alex exclaimed again. "Okay" Tobin said unsure "What color?"Alex asked looking through the folder, there were pictures but they didn't look like flowers for birthday parties because there was a bride holding those flowers in each photo. "Oh, who's getting married?" Tobin asked as she looked at the photos with Alex "Me! Tobin I am!" Alex looked at her as if she was stupid. Tobin looked at her with a straight face before laughing, "nice joke A-Morgs but you don't got me" Tobin laughed completely unaware that her best friend was serious. "What? Tobin! I-" Alex stopped mid sentence as she remembered, she didn't tell Tobin, because she hasn't told anyone, because Servando's mom wanted to let everyone know only when the setup was done. "Oh god, I think I'm going to vomit" Alex said feeling sick to her stomach "What? Are you sure? Do you want to go to the doctor?" Tobin asked immediately feeling her forehead, neck and face. She hated it when her best friend was sick, to Alex it was like the end of the world. "No, stop. Tobin, please listen" Alex begged. She hoped she wasn't going to freak out. Tobin nodded signaling for her to continue with whatever she was going to say, Tobin knew whatever was going to come out of her mouth was not going to be good she knew it. "Tobin, I got engaged, 3 weeks ago. So I didn't tell anyone yet because Serv's mom said so, but I promise you I would've told you first and I forgot I didn't tell you and I was going crazy over this and I, I'm just so tired" Alex kept on going on saying she's sorry and she needs my help but all I heard was 'I'm engaged' 'I'm engaged' I heard Alex's voice said it in her head again and again. She felt like she was constantly made fun at. It sounded funny, that she thought it was a joke or something that wasn't serious. But Tobin thought wrong because as Alex went on she told her all of her and her fiancé's plans, and it WAS real, she WAS going to get married, and Tobin's heart WAS breaking at that very moment, and Tobin did want to cry in front of her and yell at her. But she didn't. Tobin was broken from her thoughts when she heard the sliding door open behind me, "hey, sorry about that. You can get back inside" Alex said her head poking out with a light smile, she looked adorable in her duck pj's and her favorite white shirt. Something none would expect to see her wear but would still say she rocked it. "Oh yea, thanks" Tobin followed her back inside and closed the sliding door, she turned around to see her lying down on Tobin's side of the bed. There was only 1 bed but it was King sized so there was no problem, the problem was, she was on Tobin's side of the bed. "Alex you're on my side" Tobin said accusingly. She hated when Alex stole her side, she did it a lot. Tobin took this seriously every time. Little did she know Alex was only messing with her because she knew it annoyed the older girl. She didn't move, she stayed put with her eyes closed. Tobin walked towards her and slapped her with a pillow. Still she would't move. "Alex!" Tobin groaned in frustration Suddenly a smirk appeared on Tobin's face, fine, be that way. She got her hands ready and began tickling the sides of her best friend, Alex immediately jolted up from her act and began yelping and jerking around. "Tobin! Tobin!" "Stop! Damnit Heath!" Alex cursed under her breath and begged her to stop "Say I'm the best person in the whole world" Tobin commanded enjoying the show. She loved being in control of Alex because most of the time Alex was in control even if the striker wasn't aware of it, because anything she wanted Tobin would do. "No you're not!" Alex scoffed but regretted it once Tobin tickled more, "okay! Okay okay!" Alex said clearly defeated "Yourethebestpersonintheworldtobinheath" she sighed in relief when Tobin stopped and rolled over her side of the bed Alex turned to face Tobin, "you're...the...worst person...in the world" she said trying to catch her breath. "Mhm whatever you say" Tobin smirked They just stayed liked that, looking at each other, it was so intimate that Tobin thought of stupid things like what if Alex felt the same? Tobin's smirk faded into a small smile "I love you Tobin" Alex said smiling a little before her eyelids got heavy and went to sleep Once Tobin was sure Alex was asleep, she replied, "I love you too Alex, more than you know"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 "My god, Ash!" Sydney yelped, clearly horrified "Oh my god," Ali mumbled putting her head down "..uh oh..." Kristie stifled a laugh "I tried guys, I swear!" Ashlyn put her hands up in surrender unable to look at Sydney who was giving her the biggest death glare. "Scoot, Harris" Sydney said shooing her away. Once she sat in Ashlyn's old place she began to wipe the nail polish off Ali's fingers. "You're so dead Ash" Kristie giggled but received a slap on the back of the head by Ali "That is not how you treat our customers! Tsk tsk, sorry Al" Sydney sighed disappointedly at Ali, "Ashlyn just isn't into these kind of stuff" she eyed her "But don't worry! We'll get you that perfect ombré" Sydney beamed with a wink When it had something to do with makeover, Sydney took it seriously. Ashlyn sighed rolling her eyes playfully at the girl before sitting down on the couch in front of where Tobin was sitting. The door busted open and in came Alex, every time she would enter a room, it all seemed slow mow for Tobin. Like the ones in the movies where her hair would be blown by perfectly to the left and right. I am so into her. "Hey A-Morgs" Sydney greeted unable to take her eyes off Ali's fingers, soon everyone greeted her too. Tobin tried to prevent the smile forming on her face. "Hi guys" Alex replied with a smile, "How's Ashlyn Harris Salon?" Ashlyn scoffed and rolled her eyes, "more like Sydney Leroux Salon" she mumbled but Sydney having really small ears but working like an elephant's heard it. "Excuse me Harris it's not my fault you're bad at it" they all laughed but Ali mouthed her an 'it's okay' with a wink. Sometimes Tobin would think, is Ali and Ashlyn like Alex and herself? Except, none of them are in a relationship and could give it a go? None of them would have to resist wanting to hug and kiss her because she's not engaged and she does not sabotage other's relationships. Either way, Ali and Ashlyn have a very good friendship. Ashlyn is always there for Ali, and Ali is always there for Ashlyn. For Tobin, she was the one always there for Alex meanwhile Alex wasn't always there for her because she would choose Servando over her any moment. It saddened Tobin but there was nothing she would do, the world was cruel and unfair and that's how life is. But she prayed to God every night that Alex would find true happiness, she hopes she'll live life to the fullest and will have a wonderful family. They had just finished their second game against Mexico on September 18th. 4-0 and a cool twist on the line-ups, Tobin was starting as a striker alongside Sydney and Amy. Amy scored, Rapinoe scored, Tobin scored and on the second half Alex scored. Jill Ellis was going to make really hard decisions for her roster, only 20 of the 28. 8 will come home with nothing. Tobin wished she was going to be a part of the roster, so every practice she gave her all. She was a very crafty player and everyone knew that. They were looking forward for the CONCACAF qualifying, they had to get through. They had to prove something too, to their country and to the world, that women's soccer should be treated equally as men. They were back in their bus to go, they'll have a few days off before coming back to practice. Tobin began to open her phone and check practically nothing, she was in the bus and very bored. Alex wasn't sitting next to her, she was with Abby. She looked up to her everyone can see that. Tobin opened her phone again for like the 10th time in the past 7 minutes. Fine, she thought. She opened her twitter and began scrolling, turf, turf, turf, soccer, soccer, soccer was all she could read. On her notifications were her beloved fans, Tobin loved them. She remembered years ago when she first started playing for the USA, little girls approached her with signs that had her name on it. She was shocked, "I had just started playing like a month ago" she stated in her head. They asked for autographs and pictures which Tobin gladly accepted because they were too cute to deny. Tobin came across a tweet for her and Alex with an attached link. She clicked it and saw a gif when they won the NWSL 2013. *flashback* "Oh my god we won!" Adelaide Gay jumped up and down unable to contain her excitement, heck no one could. They were all giddy. They had just won against Western New York Flash, 2-0 and Tobin was the first to score on the first half from a free kick. They took pictures and listened as their coach congratulated them. It was such an amazing feeling. Tobin turned to see Alex inspecting her shirt, she looked really adorable Tobin thought. Tobin went over and grabbed her shirt wiggling it before hugging her. "Oh my god!" Alex lifted and spun Tobin around still in a hug. They were both happy, Tobin was happy, Alex was happy, and at that moment it was just the two best friends lost in their happiness. Tobin didn't want the moment to end, she wished Alex didn't too but there were certain things in life that had to be. "Alex! Your phone's ringing, it's Serv" Janice, Alex's friend from college called her over They let go and Alex began walking off, but she turned back around and looked at Tobin giving her a smile. But why? Why would she? Tobin asked. She hoped it was because she felt something. *end of flashback* Tobin hoped things weren't going to be awkward because the fans are asking for talex, they bugged Allie Long about it too. Little did their fans know, Tobin Heath was actually and really in love with Alex Morgan. "Tobin?" Tobin turned to see Christen Press, she was saying something but couldn't make it due to her beats. She took it off and raised a brow, "I'm sorry?" "I asked you if you're still going to come with Kelley and I to Alex's bridal tomorrow?" The question took Tobin off guard, yes, Alex's bridal. Lately Tobin had been forgetting schedules about Alex and Serv, she pushed it to the back of her head not allowing it to come out, but it had to. "Oh yea" "Kay, so we'll see you then. Text me." Press smiled a little before coming back to sit with Kelley who had just come back from her minor injury. Soon they were all off to the bus and headed back to the hotel, they were going to checkout tonight. Some of the player's families were here already ready to welcome them back home. Tobin headed to room first, not finding enough courage to face Alex. Tobin opened the room to see it was just the same as they left it this morning, messy and chips everywhere. She laughed as images of earlier popped in her head. Alex trying to distract her while she played video games. Throwing chips at each other and picking chips on each other's hair before eating it. Tobin rechecked the room for all of her belongings, getting Alex's stuff and putting them in Alex's bag for she knew Alex was going to go crazy if she left anything in the room. Even if it was just her comb. Especially her pre wraps. Tobin heard the door creak, figuring it was Alex she greeted her, "Hey Lex, decided to put your stuff in your bag before you forget everything else" She heard a chuckle from behind, except it didn't sound like Alex because that sounded like a man. Tobin turned to see Mr. Morgan himself. "Well it seems Alex still has that attitude of packing things later, ever since she was little." Michael Morgan chuckled lightly. "It's nice to see you Tobin" Tobin stood up with a smile and embraced Mr Morgan in a hug, "you too Michael" Tobin didn't like it when she called other's parents by their names but they insisted. Tobin loved Alex's father, he was like a father to Tobin too. "I got up to get Alex's back, she was busy with Servando downstairs" he went over and got Alex's bags and they went down together while he asked about her parents and life. They soon saw Alex and Servando wrapped up into a hug as they talked looking at each other, Tobin's heart tightened and she thought she might have struggling in breathing. "Oh! Yeah I completely forgot my bag," Alex stated and covered her face in embarrassment, "thanks dad!" "Thank Tobin too, she got your stuff in your bag for you" he laughed along with Servando, her face became red. Tobin tried to put on a straight face but ended up laughing along, Alex looked like a tomato. She was really embarrassed. "You guys are mean, I'll say my goodbye's now. I'll see you both there my favorite men" She gave her dad a kiss on the cheek and hugged her fiancé before kissing him on the lips. Tobin immediately looked away and pretended to text on her phone, "Tobs" She looked at Alex and pretended she didn't pay attention to the kiss she gave Servando, "Thanks" And just like that they both laughed, Alex went over and gave her a big long hug. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" "Of course Alex" Tobin said sincerely, that's what Alex loved about her. She was always sincere. "I love you Toby, see you" Tobin watched as the younger gave her a light smile which immediately warmed her heart and went of to say bye to the others. The older girl sighed, sometimes she wished she had stopped herself from falling for the striker because she fell hard and is still so very in love with Alex Morgan. Getting into the cab, Tobin rested her head against the window. Why did she insist on letting herself hurt for her? Would the pain go away? Alex loves Servando, Tobin loves Alex, that's just that. - Before Alex, everything felt normal. But what was normal? Tobin guessed, normal? Maybe it was just coming home from practice and get a goodnight sleep without staying up all night because there was a certain person popping into your mind. Maybe it was coming to play soccer and not think whom she wanted to impress. Maybe it was not feeling defeated and broken every time. Maybe, just maybe. But there was no normal anymore, not for Tobin. For all she thought about was the undeniably gorgeous striker. She had fallen madly in love with her, she wanted to be the one to care for her, to love her and to show her off to the world. But she couldn't because someone was doing that now. Tobin thought as she fiddled in her chair and crossed and uncrossed her legs. The midfielder felt awkward being here at Alex's bridal. Seeing everyone so happy except for her, well no one would notice. No one knew what she felt about her best friend. But as she looked again to see Alex with people who came and congratulated her, talking to her about marriage and how gorgeous love life is, she couldn't help but think, if it were Alex and her would they be saying the same thing? Then Tobin let out a laugh which caused Press to look up from her phone giving her a confused look, "sorry, it's-," Tobin laughed again, "no, just remembered something" Tobin laughed because what she thought was silly and seemed funny to her mind, but she went serious, if it weren't Servando and Alex since their college days, would Tobin have a chance? Drifting off again, Tobin remembered her memories with Alex, like she always did, Tobin's got it bad. So bad. She thought about her most of the time, looked for her most of the time and wished for her all of the time. She got up from her seat suddenly just realizing how silly and stupid she is, Press looked up again but this time she didn't explain because she didn't have to. It was written all over her face. But since Tobin was respectful, she decided to tell Alex first. She found her talking with Jeri and some of Servando's cousins. "Hey Tobin, having fun?" Jeri asked as she looked over "Yeah, it's beautiful Lex. I just came over to tell you I had to go" Tobin announced politely "Excuse me" Alex excused herself and dragged Tobin out to the balcony. Tobin was confused, why drag her all the way here? Was there something they didn't need to hear but her? "Hey, you okay?" Alex asked looking concerned. Tobin furrowed her brows, she was even more confused now. "Yeah? Why?" "Tobin, you look sick" Alex said seriously, what did she mean? "Wa-, what?" She asked again, she was beyond confused and she's never felt so confused in her life "You don't look well, talk to me Tobs. Is there something bothering you?" Tobin laughed in disbelief but of course she made it seem like she was okay, but really inside she felt ridiculous. She didn't look well. And Alex wanted for her to talk. She asked if something was bothering her. "DID YOU JUST NOTICE THAT NOW ALEX?!" Tobin's brain screamed "You know, yeah, I do feel sick. I'm just gonna head out, it's a beautiful bridal Lex. Take care" Tobin slid her arm from Alex's shoulder, and rested it on her arm before turning around and out of the house. As Tobin arrived on her once again, new hotel, she settled on her bed. Removing her heels and changing into her sweats. It was the life of an athlete, there was no such thing as settling in, she was everywhere. Tobin sighed feeling cramped, she decided so quick a cannon ball might've missed it. She opened her laptop and booked a flight for Paris the next day. She wasn't going to stay here and mop around because she couldn't have Alex and that doomsday was coming. No. Tobin prayed to God to help her, to give her strength and make this better. Though Alex was far away, she still remembered the way she felt when she and Alex touched, how her heart beat so fast whenever Alex smiled and how she never got bored of listening to Alex ramble on and on about something. Tobin felt her lids get heavy and she drifted off to a heavy sleep but of course as she did, images of her were flashing through her mind. Memories replayed in her mind. *memory* They were lying on the grass, Tobin had her bible with her reading through stories that she'd already had before but never gets tired off while Alex lay beside her staring into the warm blue color in the sky. "Hey Tobs?" "Mhmm?" Tobin asked not taking her eyes off the bible for she was so concentrated "What do you look for in a guy?" The question caught Tobin off guard, she closed her bible and set it on the grass before looking at her, "what kind of question is that?" Even though Tobin said it in a joking way, inside she really wanted to know. Alex shrugged, "I don't know, you just don't go out much or talk about wanting to go on dates like the other single ladies in our team, like Syd" "Well, I'm not like anyone. I'm Tobin" the tan girl said defensively Alex turned to face her, "of course not Tobs, of course not. You're Tobin and there's no one else like you, no one could play your part but you." She said it with so much feelings that she didn't know where this was heading, nowhere probably she thought. "But I'm not gonna push you or anything" and with that, Alex Morgan went back to staring at everything on the sky. Tobin herself asked the same question, what do I look for in a guy? She's not gay, or she likes to think so because she doesn't feel anything towards them except for Alex. So yes, she is the only exception. But really, what was it? Did Tobin like a guy who is funny and sweet? A gentleman with utmost respect? The answer was, nothing. Nothing because she's not looking for any guy. She's not looking for a woman because all she wants is the girl beside her. All she wants is Alex Morgan. *end of memory* Tobin was woken up by her annoying alarm clock ringing. She grunted and reached her arm for it slamming it to shut up. She stretched on the bed still feeling a bit tired before getting up. She felt lazy but she didn't have a choice, her flight was in 3 and a half hours. She got in the bathroom and looked groggily at herself on the mirror. "You, Tobin Heath, are a mess" She took a bath with cold water which eventually woke her up and began to pack her stuff in a duffel bag. She didn't care what she brought, as long as Alex's cal bear hoodie was with her then she was good. She laughed as she remembered Alex stealing her UNC sweater so she just gave it, in return Alex gave hers. Tobin got into her car which she rarely used since she was always riding buses or picked up, for that reason she always felt like riding in a brand new car when she got on it. She put her duffel bag on the other seat before getting in. She said a silent prayer before starting the engine. *ting* She sighed picking up her phone, it was Alex. "Hey, how you feeling?" Tobin responded with a, "much better". She couldn't decide if she wanted that or just great. Tobin was always picky with words when she texted her, she would type words and then change them. Sometimes she had to read the text 3 times to check for any error before sending Tobin flinched when she heard her phone go off. She was already driving to the airport and she never texted while driving, that was her number 1 rule. But for Alex, it seemed like all of her rules were meant to be broken. She checked if there were any cars around but there weren't since it was pretty early, 4:37 am. Once she thought it was fine she opened her phone, "I miss you Toby :(" She read it around 5 times and couldn't help the big grin on her face. She set it down for a while but get excited, she and Alex always joked around so she was sure what she was going to say next wasn't going to offend her. "Aw, getting bored of your man already? Tsk tsk" She let a little chuckle out before wishing she let someone drive her to the airport. She never liked going to the airport by herself, she wished it was 2013 again when Alex wasn't engaged because those times were the times Alex would always go with Tobin to Paris, sometimes she'd give her a surprise visit. 15 minutes had passed and she still didn't get a reply which confused her, Alex never replied longer that 2-3 minutes. Another 5 minutes passed and still no reply. Suddenly she felt conscious, what if it HAD offended her? She always wished there was something that would be able to take back messages before they read them. Tobin sighed as another 10 minutes went by, she arrived at the airport. She'll apologize to her later when she got settled. There were many people in the airport, not surprising, which mean it was loud. Full of chatter and footsteps. She got her bag inspected before getting in, Tobin immediately went to her favorite place. The coffee shop. As long as there was coffee and buns she was fine. She ordered a mocha latte and wasn't in the mood for buns, which was unusual by the way, then sat on a chair. She checked her phone for her time and unexpectedly saw a text message from Alex. It was around 7 minutes ago. Probably didn't hear since it was loud near the entrance. It was past 5, she had around an hour and 20 minutes left. She took a deep breath before viewing the text from Alex, "Maybe, things are better with youuu Heath!!" She sighed in relief once she read the text, thank God. She thought. She sent a quick reply saying the same before heading out to walk, she was glad there were sports stores here, she really needed a soccer ball right now. She was getting bored. She spotted a nike store and did a little fist pump in the air, it wasn't massive like the nike stores in malls but it was still nike. She went in to be greeted by an Alex Morgan poster on the wall, she loved seeing her everywhere. She's happy for her, she's got an amazing and growing career. She went over to the soccer galls and began picking through them before deciding to take any. She got the the counter and payed before dribbling her ball out of the store. There was a huge tree on the center of the hallway and there weren't many people in this area so she decided to put everything down and began to juggle. Juggling was always her favorite, she knew how to do tricks with them. Once she was warmed up enough, she did her freestyle. Her team loved watching her do it, they were always amazed even though they knew how to themselves. It's the way Tobin put a combination, it's how she looked liked when she touched a ball. For her, ball is life. Little did she knew, a crowd was forming. Phones were out and they began taking pictures and videos, she was too concentrated that when she stopped deciding she didn't want to get too sweaty she was surprised by the applause and cheers. She looked around and smiled giving them a small bow. People approached her asking for autographs and pictures, she still had time so she didn't mind. It was always her favorite when a little boy or girl went to her, it made her happy that as young as they are they look up to her. It motivated her to do her best in everything she did. She walked away leaving them cheering her name again and again before she was completely out of their sight. Picking up her soccer ball, she decided she should stay near her assigned gate, she sat down and her phone rang. She checked and saw it was Alex again, not that she got bored of her but it made her happy that Alex would spend time for her or actually think about her (she hopes so). She answered the call and before she could greet her, she was greeted by an upset Morgan, "Thanks for telling me that you were leaving again by the way Heath" Guess the videos and photos have been posted, she didn't know whether to be happy or sad towards social media at the moment. Tobin unexpectedly let out a small laugh, "I'm sorry AMorgs, it was a last minute decision and I miss my frenchies" She heard Alex groan, "I hate you" "You ate me?" Tobin asked giving out a favorite joke "sorry you’re too French now, I don’t quite understand" she replied while laughing which made Tobin laugh along. Remembering their short twitter conversation during Tobin's 25th birthday, it was during camp too. Which was fun by the way, because Pia made them do a 3 hour jog non stop. Alright, not really fun. "When will you stop visiting Paris Tobs?" Alex sighed she sounded tired "I don't know Lex, it's, it's my getaway" she put her hand on her face in frustration but not giving it away to Alex. "Are you okay?" Tobin asked Alex ignored her question and asked one instead, "Getaway from what?" That hung in the air for a while, what would she say to Alex? A getaway from her? Her flight was called and she gave a little sigh. "My flight was called, I have to go Lex. I'll talk to you later, okay?" "Yeah fine," she sounded upset but she didn't want to deal with it over the phone. "Take care Tobin Heath and be a good girl. Love you." "I love you too." - Paris' weather never connected with Tobin this much. Cold. That's what the weather was. Cold. That's what Tobin felt. When she arrived, she immediately went to visit her previous club, PSG. It felt good to be back, knowing she was missed and loved here in Paris made her feel good. Like finally she was wanted. She did have fans and people who love her back in the US but she only wanted a specific someone to love her the way she loves her. "Oh god I missed you" Lindsey Horan said hugging her fellow American "How's being the only one to speak fluent english here?" She asked hugging her back Lindsey simply rolled her eyes and brought her to see her old teammates, "oui, ahh, yes Tobin Heath" Laure in a thick accent "salut, comment êtes-vous?" tobin asked walking over giving her a bear hug. After she said hello to everyone she watched their game which they of course won. She didn't know if loving Alex from the start was good or bad, all she knows is that what came out of that made her feel both good and bad. But as she rethought it over it was decided, she would never regret loving Alex. Sure she drove her mad and wasn't there for her like she was for Alex but in the midst of loving her she would always find herself feeling safe and valuable. Alex made her feel those even if she didn't intend anything than to be a good friend. That was Alex, being casual with everyone but so damn unaware of what she's doing to others. 


	3. Chapter 3

Tobin was back in jersey for camp and everyone else was certainly not wasting their last day of freedom neither was Tobin but she couldn't think of anything to do. The next day she was pleased to see Alex was her roommate, she decided to tweet about it mentioning Alex about how she was going to get the better bed. Alex was still on her mini vacation with Allie and Jeri but she'll be back the next day. Camp was almost coming to an end and Jill has already made the 20 man roster for the CONCACAF Women's World Cup Qualifying and she was happy to see Alex and she were still on. Although she was sad the others had to go but at least they get to finish camp together. That night Tobin was in the bathroom changing when she heard a high pitch scream from Alex, she immediately went out of the room with only shorts and bra on. "What happened?! Are you okay?!" Tobin asked looking around for what may have caused Alex to scream and stay on Tobin's side of the bed wrapped in her blanket. Alex looks so cute right now, she thought. She poked her head out of the blanket to look at Tobin, "there's a spider on my bed" Tobin rolled her eyes, "I thought it was something serious" "Having spiders on your bed is something serious Tobin Heath!" Tobin went over to look for the spider on Alex's bed while the forward watched horrified from the other bed. When Tobin found the spider, the small spider, she slowly picked it up by its legs making Alex scream again. "Tobin put that thing down! Kill it!" She chuckled putting it on her hand before covering it, "Gosh lex, chill sometime yeah?" She put it on the floor and hesitantly killed it. Poor spider, she thought. She said a silent prayer saying sorry but she had to do it for Alex. She's silly and she knows it. "Oh, thank god" she jumped off Tobin's bed and gave Tobin a hug. "Lifesaver! I can finally sleep now" the forward said smiling She plopped down on her bed quickly sending a tweet which Tobin got a notification a minute after, "goodnight Tobs" "Night Lex" Tobin proceeded back to the bathroom to finish her business but not before looking back at the already sleeping forward, she couldn't help but smile at how precious her best friend looked. In a matter of months, that woman will be married and she'll have to let go. But how? - As they finished their warmups for their next game against Guatemala, Tobin found herself getting scared. The game against Trinidad & Tobago days before has left them disappointed with themselves, even if they won it wasn't a pretty decent game. If it weren't for Abby they would've suffered PKs. "It's okay Tobin, it'll be different now" the midfielder thought. Tobin IS a midfielder but their coach had them switch positions back and forth. Tobin was starting as a forward alongside Alex on the center and Leroux on the right. It eased her that she'd be playing with her best friend. The coins have been flipped and pictures had been taken. And it's on... It's on the 7th minute when Sydney gives a long pass to Tobin's direction, without hesitation Tobin slides to poke that ball. It hits the back of the net. GOAL! Sydney ran over to envelope her in a hug followed by Alex. She could feel her skin tingle from Alex's touch. No one said anything, out of breath and simply just happy. Soon more of her teammates went over and congratulated her. They were having a pretty good game but their happiness didn't last long when Alex went down. "No" Tobin thought. For teammates it was bad when one of them was hurt but for a teammate who was a best friend and in love with the injured one it was different. Tobin froze, her mind thinking about lots of possibility. She was scared for Alex, seeing her cry only broke her more. The ref whistled for a stop, before she was put out of the field she went over to the forward to check on her. Her eyes found her best friend's, she could see fear and frustration. And then she was off the field. She should've said something, something to reassure the younger girl but she couldn't say anything. In the end they won with 5-0 Tobin adding another girl on the second half, she was pleased because she wanted to get back at the Guatemalans for what happened to Alex. How dare they hurt her. When the game ended she hurriedly went to the lockers but had to make a few stops to take pictures and sign autographs. She found Alex wrapped around the arms of Servando. She looked defeated and Tobin wanted to push him away so she could comfort her but how sure was she that she'd comfort her? What if Servando was already doing that? He kissed her head and went out. Once again Tobin's foot stayed put and soon the players bypassed her to Alex giving her hugs and reassuring words. As soon as everyone evaporated she approached the forward, "Hey, how are you feeling?" "I was so scared" she whispered lowly and if Tobin didn't pay all of her attention to her then she bet she wouldn't have heard "I know," sighing she grabbed the forwards hand, "you'll be alright. I promise" Alex nodded her head and laid on Tobin's shoulder. She hoped it wouldn't take her months to recover like the last year. But Alex needed to make sure that when she came back from rehabilitation she would be stronger. It upset the midfielder that she'd come back home with Servando but she knew it was for the best, she'd need rest and his love. Was it enough? His love? Probably yes but since Tobin desires for her too there were doubts about his love for her on her part. As they continued the world cup qualifying Tobin managed to work her arse off to be a starter and it paid off well. She started in their next two games, Haiti and semifinal Mexico. She made sure to be at her best for she knew Alex was watching at home in her couch, with Servando. She hadn't been able to talk with her but she hoped she was alright, the next day after the forward was injured they took scans and the doctor said she'd be out for 5-6 weeks meaning no more world cup qualifying for her. It made Alex cry again but she believed in her teammates. Their last game had been against Mexico again, 3-0 and it served as their ticket to Canada. They were so happy but they had one more game on October 26, the championship. One more and then they'd be champions. They had to win, she had to win. For her country, her family, and most especially Alex. She had her word. As the game between USA and Costa Rica flew, all Tobin thought about was how she was going to give her all. She waited on the bench knowing she was going to go on sometime in the second half. They were winning of course but she wanted more, to prove herself to Jill and the world. To make her parents and the girl she loves proud of her. She was a playmaker despite being positioned as a forward so she had already thought about what she was going to do, the moves she'll make, the balls she'll pass and receive. It's game on. After warming up, she stood waiting for her number to be raised alongside the other subs. When she got on the field she looked at the lush of green beneath her, she's known it all her life. It made her remember those blue orbs she misses and loves the most. She knew them all too well even if she hasn't seen them all the time in her life, she knew what it held and what her eyes looked at the best. Him. Sometime in the game, Tobin clashed with one player from the other team. Tobin went down frustrated that she got fouled, her knee hurt and she wanted to cry. Some of her teammates come over to check on her but she brushed them away. She's a fighter, she's fought for so many things, she won't back down. Not now anyway. So she got up and continued playing, loosing the other players on the opposite side to her creative footwork. Crossing a ball over the top, knowing Sydney and Abby would be there. Syd drew her head back and hit the ball with her all frustrated to not have 1 goal in any game. But now, her scream just showed how relieved she was. Finally, she scored. They won with 6-0 but they all knew that they wouldn't stop there. They would continue to train and work harder. They had more games to play on, loosing was not an option. Happiness was what the United States women's national team showed. They were happy for everyone, glad that they had not let one ball into their goal. Abby won the golden boot, Hope with the golden glove, and Carli with the golden ball. None of those mattered anyway, what mattered was their ticket to Canada. They were going to repay for Germany 2011. Never again will they let that happen. They were going to have a good sleep with smiled on their faces. There was so many things to smile for, it'd be impossible to frown. Sadly, it wasn't the same for Tobin. As Tobin got on the bed, she checked her phone first. Seeing Alex posted a photo on instagram showing her tv playing USA vs Costa Rica and her laptop in front showing a game of Houston Dynamo against Chicago Fire with the caption "The injured life right now. Watching my girls and my guy." Suddenly all of the light inside of the midfielder was pulled out of her, she wasn't warm anymore. She felt cold and lonely. A lot of times Tobin wants to scream in no one in particular as to why doesn't Alex feel the same way. She's tired, and if she's tired from training then she's more worn out when she sees Alex talk about Servando and how excited she is for her wedding. She's had enough for the day and she doesn't want to dwell about it more, she pulls the cover towards her letting out a shaky breath as she felt her body sore and heart beat rapidly. She was done for the night. She was done.


End file.
